It all started two weeks ago… One of my people that I love dearly lost his job and could not afford to take care of me anymore. Their farm was my home for the last 10 years. He sadly listed me for sale, and the kids were very sad to see me go. A few people came to see me. One said I was too old, one said I was a bit too much horse for their little girl, but the last guy said I’ll take him. He didn’t ride me. He said he liked the way I looked and that I had a kind eye. He didn’t mind I was a little banged up from an old fall and had some occasional swelling in my right knee. Sometimes it ached me a little, but I’d do anything for me human family. If the littles wanted to ride me, I would ride all day long for them anyway.
They exchanged some money and my owner signed a bill of sale, and handed this new man my lead rope. Tears were shed as I walked away. I walked right into his trailer without a fuss, because I knew my family would want me to. It was a long ride to my new home. When we finally got there the sun had set, and I was let out into a small feed lot that had a handful of other horses in it. There was plenty of hay, and lots of company to adjust to. They didn’t look like they were too happy I was there, but I tried to make friends. The first two days were rough. The horses kept running me off from the hay bale and my stomach was aching for the nice green grass in my pasture at home. I missed my little girl who used to bring me my grain bucket out every morning and whisper her plans of adventure for the day…There were a lot of things I missed about home. New horses kept arriving. Sometimes just one on a trailer like me, other times he would drop off four or five at a time. It was starting to get crowded at the round bales. Thankfully, I was not the newest face in the pen anymore, so I usually had the privilege of being able to eat with everyone else.
A week went by and the crowding was even more worse. There were a few old horses that had showed up here. They hung their heads low. One horse had been at the same home his entire life…The other, had been through a few homes because he kept chewing on their wood fences. There was one horse that was really thin and was very tender on one of her front foot. She didn’t do much, but just stand at the fence and stare off into the distance. We were a band of misfits. Some of us old, some young, some scarred, some covered in burrs… We were all different but not the most beautiful herd to behold.
I began to adjust to the idea that this must be my new way of life… No more sweet, hot mashes in the morning. No open pasture with seemingly never ending waves of grass to run on and graze at will. No coming into a warm stall at night and being brushed down and petted. But, I could adjust.
One morning, a truck arrived with a large trailer. And all of us perked up seeing the big trailer wondering what was in store for us, and who would be leaving. I started to get nervous as several men got out of the truck when he was backing up to the chute that led to our pen. They got the truck backed up, and the men got some long whips out. I knew what a whip was.. I was lunged before. It wasn’t a thing to fear unless in the hands of someone mean. I’d never known it to be mean. But a lot of the horses were afraid of the whips. They began waving them around and cracking them and yelling at us. They yelled at us to get moving and get on the truck. Fear was stirring and suddenly everyone started moving and the first horse mad it’s way down the chute toward the truck. More followed and soon the horses were being frantically loaded on to the trailer.
I was not afraid of the whip, so I just stayed where I was munching on the hay. Apparently that made one of the men mad. He walked toward me and started yelling. I didn’t understand why he was so upset waving his whip around. He finally raised it up and smacked me hard with the end of his whip. It stung like fire. I kicked out as a reflex, and he smacked me with it again. Man that whip hurt. This time I went ahead and walked. Another man came on the other side of me and they kept swinging at me with their awful whips. Time after time again, until I loaded on the trailer with the rest.
The ride was a couple hours long. We were crammed into the trailer together. I was very nervous wondering what was coming next. Who would possibly want to buy ALL of us…
We unloaded into a strange place. It smelled of livestock. When the truck pulled in, I peered through the slats to see a sale barn. There were lots of cars and trucks and trailers here I could hear whinnies of horses calling out for their owners or their friends. It smelled of fear, chaos, confusion. They backed us up to a gate and opened the door and the men started yelling at us again to get us moving. They ran us through a walk way and into a couple different holding pens. Then the truck drove away. And we were left behind. After a short while, we were again ran through a walk way and through a chute where someone reached out and slathered glue on our sides and stuck on a number. Is this what I have been reduced to? A number…? My heart ached for home.
Number 932. Big bay gelding with a swollen knee, 18 years old. A vet drew some blood along with the other horses that came along with me. And then were were ran down a long hallway to another larger holding area. There was a small area with hay in it, and a very small water trough, but there were so many other horses in the pen that it was impossible to get to them. My stomach was hungry from all the long trip with no hay. My mouth was dry with thirst. I looked around and saw at least 30 other fearful faces in this pen. If that wasn’t enough, I took a minute to take in my surroundings. We were in a building, but there were three other pens just like the one I was in on the same side as us. They were full to standing room only. Except in the one stall where one horse was down. There was a small commotion trying to get that horse back up on its’ feet…Oh wait, I know that horse. That was the skinny one with the sore front foot. I hoped she would get back up for her sake. She already always looked so sad. What a horrible way to end. Surely some kind person would help her and buy her and bring her home to a nice bedded stall.
It was like a circus that day, or perhaps a zoo. I’m not sure which. A cast sea of people coming through looking at us. Our pen was so full, not many people were brave enough to venture in. There was one mare that was so afraid and kept kicking all the other horses. I got slammed up against the gate a few times when she started getting upset. A few kids stopped by the gate and petted me. I was friendly. The horse next to me pinned his ears and nipped every time someone tried to touch him. People stayed away from that horse. Didn’t he know, people weren’t all that bad? He should just be friendly!
I saw you several times that day. I watched as your family bravely entered in to some of the pens and caught horses. You brought a bridle with you and tried to get them to take a bit, and I watched your daughter ride. She was so brave. Over and over and over again, you guys would catch a horse, then someone would ride that horse bareback to see how it rode, and then you would make a note on a piece of that horses’ number. I waited hoping you would come and try me. Several people passed me by, but my knee was having one of it’s bad days. I hadn’t been allowed to stretch out much being in that small feed lot with the horses. I have to be able to move about to keep my knee feeling good. It was very swollen from not having been able to stretch out and trot and run. And honestly, it was really hurting me today.
Several walked by and shook their heads looking at me with pity. Other people walked by and took one look at me knee and immediately said not that one. Then you came over to me, and started petting me and talking to me. My ears perked up at the kindness. You were brave enough to open up the gate and get me out of that pen. My how good it felt to be out of there. You slipped a bit in my mouth and I took it like a champ. This is old hat. I know the drill. You saw that my knee was swollen, but your daughter lightly rode me anyway. I neck reined…and I walked and backed up down the hallway. I felt accomplished. A few other people saw you guys handling me and wrote my number down. Number 932. Big bay gelding with a swollen knee. You guys put me back.
The circus continued on for the rest of the day. I watched as other horses were ridden, or handled. I watched some brave children go into the pony pen that was full of some crazy little grumpy ponies to try and find a broke one. There was no information written down about us. People had to figure out that stuff on their own. There were donkeys, mules…and I’m pretty sure the lucky ones outside had more space to move around in. And I saw some drafts being ground driven down the walk way at one point. It was very busy throughout the morning. A few other people rode me, but I stumbled with my knee being sore. And the more people that rode me, the more achy I was. I had gotten kicked a few times and had several sore areas on me and was bleeding from a couple places. Another scared horse bit me when I got too close. I was feeling pretty banged up. I noticed later in the afternoon, the crowd of people started to thin down and then some workers in the barn started coming around with long sticks with flags on them and began to move horses around.
We were ran down the walk way again, toward another holding area. I watched as a few at a time were ran toward a door.. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but it didn’t seem great. The time finally came when it was my turn. They yelled at me to get going and slapped my butt with a flag and waved the other flag around, so I went ahead and walked through a door and found myself in a small auction ring. I looked around a little startled. There was a huge crowd of people staring at me and a loud booming voice of an auctioneer. There were two workers who were waving flags to keep me moving, so I trotted back and forth, but I was very scared. My knee hurt. My body ached. My heart ached for home.
I saw you. Briefly in the crowd. You nodded your head at the auctioneer. You were bidding on me. Oh I was relieved to think you were bidding on me. It had to be a better life than this place. Please don’t leave me here. About thirty seconds went by, and I was ran out of the ring. SOLD said the auctioneer. I didn’t hear the number of the buyer but I hoped it was yours. I tried to glance back to see you while I was trotting out, but I saw you put your head down and shake your head. I could only hope for the best.
I was ran back into a pen with some other horses, and we were moved around a few more times and I was moved into a pen with several other horses that I had not been with the whole time. People started coming in the back to get the horses they had bought. I saw you. I was in a pen with about 30 other horses. I couldn’t get to the fence for you to see me. But I saw you. You were walking down the hallway with your family. You had a horse on a lead rope, and a pony following. They were so lucky. I whinnied, and you looked over at me. I saw the sadness in your eyes wishing you had bought me too. You came over to the fence and I pushed my way through and you petted me and softly whispered. “I’m so sorry buddy. I wish you were coming home with us too.” I nuzzled your hand back. I wished I was too.
Soon a large semi truck was backed up to a cattle chute. And men started yelling and waving flags as the gate was open. I secretly wished you would come back in and try and sneak me out with you. I’d be a good boy. I just needed to be out to be able to stretch for my knee. We were chased down the walkway and into the truck. Then more were chased in…And more. At the end of the load, there was about 55 of us on this truck. We were very packed in. There were horses of all kinds, and ponies, and even donkeys. There was a huge draft horse loaded and one last little pony that needed to be loaded on the truck, and the workers ran the little pony up on to the truck and he stood underneath the magnificent draft.
We were all afraid, and I was SO sad. I wanted to go home with you. I wanted your kids to bring me a warm mash, and brush my mane. I just wanted someone to love me, like I loved my home. I missed my home. My heart ached for home.
It was a long ride. Standing squished in a semi truck. My knee ached, and I wondered what had happened to that horse with the bad fat who had been down at the sale. I didn’t see her again after they got her up and moved her. There was a largely pregnant mare next to me. I watched as miles and miles went by. We landed in a state down south and were unloaded into a similar feed lot that we had been in before.
A couple weeks went by, and some of the horses were pulled out and videos made of them. One I heard they used the term got “bailed out.” So she was put into a separate pen and they planned on taking her to another auction if no one would pay her adoption fee and board. The pen got down to a large crowd of us that were looking like misfits. Some had sore legs, some were blind, or missing an eye. I was beat up. We all looked awful. Finally a day came when the semi pulled up again. I was so sad I had not been eating much. I was depressed. I missed home. I missed people being kind to me. I thought all people were kind until now. I realized I had been so blessed to have the family that I had been with for so long. This time, I walked right onto the trailer. It couldn’t get worse than what I’d already been through.
We drove for several hours, and we went into a different country. I had never been out of the United States before. But, somehow I was not excited. When we pulled up to the facility that we were being taken to…It smelled of death. Somehow I knew this was the end of the road for me. I walked out of the trailer with the other horses into a dry feed lot once again. My heart ached for pasture, my heart ached for human kindness, my heart ached for home.
Pen by pen the horses began to disappear. They were ran down chutes toward a building. And after they went to that building, we did not ever see them again. People talked cruelly to us and treated us like we were nothing important to them. I began to just hang my head low like many other horses that were here. Every day I saw more horses go to that building and not return. One day, the workers came to our small feed lot, and I knew my time had come. Some were scared and ran down the walk way. I walked slow…with my head down. Sadness and grief overwhelmed me. I knew I would not come back after this walk. In my heart I wished the horses and pony that went home with you well. I hoped for a better future for them. Me leg ached. I was tired. My heart ached for greener pastures. My heart ached for human kindness. My heart ached for home.